[ Somehow that is way worse than being called a creep. Or any of the other stuff. Because there's really nothing he can say to that right now. What can he say? "Yeah, well, I do!" Talk about juvenile. ]
[ It's kind of awful to leave it there, but he doesn't know what to say to Hong Kong. It'd be easy enough to clarify - Hong Kong has been too pushy, he still hasn't really presented any sound reasoning for things they have common and thus can relate to each other - but there's only so much effort Iceland is going to put into this issue. He's still suspicious. He still doesn't trust Hong Kong. He's not going to give him free reasons to turn back around on Iceland to "prove" that he's worth something; if Hong Kong wants to be friends he should be able to figure it out himself, or maybe it should happen naturally. Of course that is barring that fact that Iceland is making it incredibly difficult, and that's one of his more serious flaws - nothing's his fault. He's right, you know! Too smart and the best in the world, yeah!! ]
so you just want me to go away and never talk to you again that'd make you happy
[ Not that he's feeling totally 'defeated' here or anything, but it's true that there's only so much of this that he can take, so to speak? Which sounds really self-important, but it's the honest truth that he's been trying his very best to do better and be a less annoying, less intrusive, more friend-worthy kind of person and he's been trying for a whole year now, trying all kinds of things.
He's given gifts and made Iceland food and invited him to things and ignored him and not-ignored him and tried to reach Iceland on common ground.
He's bought about 100 cds just to have an excuse to go and say hi to Iceland in his store. He's had ups and downs... mostly downs, but there have been a few moments when he's felt like they made progress and things were good and he could see them getting to know each other better in the future.
And probably the end result is just that he's been pushy and annoying and he's not doing whatever he needs to do in order to figure out what Iceland needs in a friend. But the more he's tried to be Iceland's friend, the more he's realized that Iceland is a pretty isolated, lonely, and unhappy guy. He practically stinks of unhappiness sometimes, really.
Which bugs Hong Kong. It makes him feel sad on Iceland's behalf.
But if he's just making Iceland sadder, well. He probably should just back off. A lot more.
[ Confusing, indeed. Iceland's never had real friends, so to be dealing with this, where it almost comes across as forceful, is scary to him. He doesn't know how to have friends. People are only interested in him because he has things to offer - for tourists, it's the exotic landscape, for 'their kind,' it's green energy or fish or aluminum or something as long as it has material value. That's the way things work.
What Hong Kong's asking now is a loaded question, Iceland knows that much. Despite not understand friendship or supposedly wanting nothing to do with it, he still doesn't want to be the bad guy. He doesn't want to be unnecessarily hurtful. He's straightforward, and the truth can sting, but it's not intended to injure. He knows if he completely confirms question, that's going to be harmful. That's voiding all their interactions for the past year. And for what? It wouldn't make Iceland happy. Again, he doesn't want to cause harm, but he's still stuck. He's still trapped in Holly Heights which is where he doesn't want to be! Nothing can be done about that. ]
[ Hong Kong doesn't want Iceland to feel more trapped with what he says or tries to do. That's the exact opposite of his intention. He's trying to make a friend, not an enemy, after all.
He really wants to ask why? Why can't they be friends? To him, it's not something threatening. He understands the idea of a mutually beneficial relationship and truthfully he often thinks of the concept of friendship being like that. In a way, that's probably what he was thinking when he first arrived and his interest was piqued by Iceland. But over the last year, he's been around lots of people, formed a plethora of different kinds of relationships with them, and learned a little about eliminating a little of the "business" from "business relationship," which he was (possibly) surprised to find meant "friendship" in some cases.
And that kind of dialogue, that kind of connection, is what he's clearly seeking from Iceland.
And yet.
And yet Iceland doesn't want that? Doesn't believe in it being a thing? Doesn't like Hong Kong enough to want to pursue it even if he did want or understand it?
Hong Kong's not really sure and he's not in the habit of ruminating over this kind of thing. He hasn't ever been in the habit. But now... ]
sorry i'm not sure i know how to stop trying
[ Which is, he realizes now, sort of... his way of saying that he's not really sure how he can interact with Iceland at all without irritating him.
It's not a really pleasant thought. 'I should just leave you alone.' He's not going to say that though. ]
[ If you will, imagine a terrified bunny rabbit in the corner of a cage. That's Iceland. In all honesty it's not much of a leap to say that he might actually be a little scared of Hong Kong, but that's not something Iceland realizes. It just has to do with the former's bold approach to a mysterious subject Iceland doesn't understand. To further the rabbit metaphor: it's like taking a carrot and pushing it in the rabbit's face-- yes, the rabbit might like it, but it's so preoccupied being pressed into the terror corner that the carrot isn't something good, but something imposing and unwanted.
That was kind of a long metaphor, but that's the simple version on Iceland's feelings, re: Holly Heights and friendship. ]
[ The metaphor makes sense and if we were to keep carrying it onward, we could say Hong Kong is the guy with the carrot in his hand and it's like, carrots are good? Rabbits should theoretically like carrots? But this one doesn't and no matter how Hong Kong presents it to him, he doesn't want it any more than he ever did. And he looks more and more scared, which isn't a good thing at all!
Maybe he just has to take the carrot out of the cage. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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i thought i was doing a little better
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it's just hard to figure out how i can get to know you better
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i feel like we do
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dealing with older siblings and stuff
we're also both islands
well i'm partly island
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that's not why
it's because i'm someone who can understand some stuff
things we have in common like you said
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i mean there's tons of other reasons
it's not because of norway
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[ Somehow that is way worse than being called a creep. Or any of the other stuff. Because there's really nothing he can say to that right now. What can he say? "Yeah, well, I do!" Talk about juvenile. ]
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[ It's kind of awful to leave it there, but he doesn't know what to say to Hong Kong. It'd be easy enough to clarify - Hong Kong has been too pushy, he still hasn't really presented any sound reasoning for things they have common and thus can relate to each other - but there's only so much effort Iceland is going to put into this issue. He's still suspicious. He still doesn't trust Hong Kong. He's not going to give him free reasons to turn back around on Iceland to "prove" that he's worth something; if Hong Kong wants to be friends he should be able to figure it out himself, or maybe it should happen naturally. Of course that is barring that fact that Iceland is making it incredibly difficult, and that's one of his more serious flaws - nothing's his fault. He's right, you know! Too smart and the best in the world, yeah!! ]
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that'd make you happy
[ Not that he's feeling totally 'defeated' here or anything, but it's true that there's only so much of this that he can take, so to speak? Which sounds really self-important, but it's the honest truth that he's been trying his very best to do better and be a less annoying, less intrusive, more friend-worthy kind of person and he's been trying for a whole year now, trying all kinds of things.
He's given gifts and made Iceland food and invited him to things and ignored him and not-ignored him and tried to reach Iceland on common ground.
He's bought about 100 cds just to have an excuse to go and say hi to Iceland in his store. He's had ups and downs... mostly downs, but there have been a few moments when he's felt like they made progress and things were good and he could see them getting to know each other better in the future.
And probably the end result is just that he's been pushy and annoying and he's not doing whatever he needs to do in order to figure out what Iceland needs in a friend. But the more he's tried to be Iceland's friend, the more he's realized that Iceland is a pretty isolated, lonely, and unhappy guy. He practically stinks of unhappiness sometimes, really.
Which bugs Hong Kong. It makes him feel sad on Iceland's behalf.
But if he's just making Iceland sadder, well. He probably should just back off. A lot more.
Friendship is confusing. ]
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What Hong Kong's asking now is a loaded question, Iceland knows that much. Despite not understand friendship or supposedly wanting nothing to do with it, he still doesn't want to be the bad guy. He doesn't want to be unnecessarily hurtful. He's straightforward, and the truth can sting, but it's not intended to injure. He knows if he completely confirms question, that's going to be harmful. That's voiding all their interactions for the past year. And for what? It wouldn't make Iceland happy. Again, he doesn't want to cause harm, but he's still stuck. He's still trapped in Holly Heights which is where he doesn't want to be! Nothing can be done about that. ]
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i just don't think we can be friends
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He really wants to ask why? Why can't they be friends? To him, it's not something threatening. He understands the idea of a mutually beneficial relationship and truthfully he often thinks of the concept of friendship being like that. In a way, that's probably what he was thinking when he first arrived and his interest was piqued by Iceland. But over the last year, he's been around lots of people, formed a plethora of different kinds of relationships with them, and learned a little about eliminating a little of the "business" from "business relationship," which he was (possibly) surprised to find meant "friendship" in some cases.
And that kind of dialogue, that kind of connection, is what he's clearly seeking from Iceland.
And yet.
And yet Iceland doesn't want that? Doesn't believe in it being a thing? Doesn't like Hong Kong enough to want to pursue it even if he did want or understand it?
Hong Kong's not really sure and he's not in the habit of ruminating over this kind of thing. He hasn't ever been in the habit. But now... ]
sorry
i'm not sure i know how to stop trying
[ Which is, he realizes now, sort of... his way of saying that he's not really sure how he can interact with Iceland at all without irritating him.
It's not a really pleasant thought. 'I should just leave you alone.' He's not going to say that though. ]
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That was kind of a long metaphor, but that's the simple version on Iceland's feelings, re: Holly Heights and friendship. ]
ok
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Maybe he just has to take the carrot out of the cage. ]
i won't bug you anymore